Rodrigo Umlaut Burn:


Rodrigo Burn


Full Name: Rodrigo Umlaut Burn

Date Of Birth: 11/08/1944

Height: 5'9"

Occupation: Super Cop

Alignment: Chaotic Good

Next Of Kin: 'Big Poppa' Burn (Father, serving three life sentences)

Known Associates: Sebastian E. Crash, Chief M. Rappappaport, Doyle O'Flannegan, Lieutenant Biscotti, Militia Malone, Heimlich MacFrankenhauser

Distinguishing Features: Police Issue Sideburns, Super Cop Moustache

Hobbies: Martial Arts, Christianity, Strippers, Alcohol

Favourite Food: Bourbon and Chips


Basic Bio:


Rodrigo Umlaut Burn is one of Patriot City's elite Super Cops. With the help of his long time friend and partner Sebastian E. Crash, they have brought over 534,243,000 perps to justice in their career.

Burn is fearless in his fight against crime - skilled in the arts of disguise, he is an experienced deep-cover operative.


Back Story:


Rodrigo Umlaut Burn grew up on the rough, crime infested streets of Spanish Harlem.

The bastard son of a hair wax salesman and a butcher's assistant, Rodrigo spent his childhood picking pockets and running hookers (two things omitted from his fourth autobiography - Burn, Burn again.)

It was then that Rodrigo fell in with a gang known as 'The Little Scorpions', becoming an integral part of their operation.

Their business was drugs - the bad kind.

For several years Burn worked the streets, becoming a well-trusted soldier for the forces of evil.

Even as a nine year old, most of his days were spent at the bottom of a bottle. Drunk and ruthless - the brothel floors were his bed and the bar stools his writing desk...or dinner table.


The Path Of The Righteous:


Justice-Love was soon to take Burn under his wing though. At the age of ten, Rodrigo witnessed murder of the most terrible kind - watching his own father gun down his mother, all for a bag of drugs.

Fleeing the scene, Burn had nowhere to go, sleeping rough on the streets for several nights in the bitterest of winters.

Then one day a kindly priest named Seamus O'MacManally found him sheltering beneath the eaves of his church.

Sensing that he was in the presence of a lost soul, the priest offered him shelter and something far greater - the love of God.

For three long years Burn studied the texts of the Bible, learning of ideologies such as 'goodness and 'morality' - subjects he was aware of, but had never actually put into practice.

Alongside his bible studies, Father O'MacManally also trained Burn in the deadly arts of Kung-Fu, sharing with him the deadly Irish Paralyzing Palm technique.

Tragedy struck though when the insidious Fandango Crime Syndicate murdered Father O'MacManally; gunning him down in a vicious drive-by shooting outside his church.

As Burn held his dying mentor in his arms, he saw the faces of the perps and realized with horror that they were none other than his old gang; The Little Scorpions.


Revenge Is Hard To Swallow:


Burn swore revenge but knew he could not murder his old friends in cold blood.

It was then that Father O'MacManally gave him his last words of advice. Taking his PVC glow-in-the-dark rosary, he placed it around Burn's neck, telling him he was now, more than ever, one of God's children.

"Aye," Father O'MacManally said, gasping in pain. "So it is, to be sure. Revenge may be sweet, but there t'ain't a thing sweeter than the love of lady justice. There's the easy way...and then there's the right way. Which will you choose, my Son?"

Burn swore an oath to God that he would walk the path of righteousness, destroy all evil and deliver America from the arms of drugs and violence. Forever.




For ten long years Burn plotted his revenge, making friends and forging alliances in that deadly underworld.

Using his incredible powers of disguise he went undercover, infiltrating the inner circles of Spanish Harlem's 'five families.' It was here that he developed many memorable characters, such as - Wilhelm Von Capstan, the dancing taxidermist and Lady Magrite Ala Ronde, an aristocratic pie enthusiast.

Burn began to work closely with the local Police Force - acting as an informant and inside line, he lived two lives; one of light and one of dark.

In a single night of revenge and justice, Burn sprung his trap - arresting the heads of all five families (actually only four of the families were arrested; 'Don Formaggio' was actually one of Burn's many guises, and from it he had formed the fifth family, all in a brilliant coup.)

After a brutal rooftop chase, Rodrigo caught up with his old gang leader; 'Lightning' Rimbaud. But rather than be taken alive, Lightning threw himself from the roof of the City's Stadium.

The last thing Burn learnt, as his old friend plunged to his death, was that O'MacManally's killing had been sanctioned by an outside man - a man named Scorpion Fandango.


Shields Of Justice:


Burn never showed to receive the medals he'd earned. His investigations alone had led to the arrest of nearly two thousand individuals, including the actor Peter Fonda (who was later released for a lack of evidence).

Instead, Burn hopped on a out-of-state bus and headed for the one place he'd heard needed Justice-Love more than anywhere - Patriot City.

It was on that journey that he met Sebastian Crash - another young man on a quest for justice.

At first they seemed mismatched but when the bus was hijacked by a group of renegade midgets, they had no choice but to cooperate.

Moving with a fluidity that Burn had never known, he learnt the true strength of team work - even taking down the gang's leader in a simultaneous, coordinated 'kicking attack'.

A police officer named Doyle O'Flannegan witnessed the heroic act and sent word to Patriot City's Police Department, offering them the prestigious roles of Super Cops.

Together Crash and Burn were a force of goodness unlike anything that had ever been seen. Two lone soldiers, in a battle without end.

Burn will never stop fighting for justice and he will never forget his mentor Father O'MacManally - wearing his PVC glow-in-the-dark rosary as a memento around his neck.

One day, Fandango will pay.


ben tallamy

Rodrigo Burn is played by Ben Tallamy